Halloween at Malfoy Manner
by GinnyWazlibRocks
Summary: Look, I know the title is kind of lame. Sorry. But anyways... Voldy doesn't seem to know a thing about Halloween, but who would ever trust a man when there's free candy involved? Twoshot. Character developments from my other fics. Strange/
1. The Clever Plot

AN: Hey... um.... guys.... How ya... how ya doin'? Good? That's, _ahem_, er... good...

Look, I'm _sorry_! I know I disappeared for a while. And as awful as it is, I'm gonna have to do it agai – stop it! Don't look at me like that! _Not the puppy-dog eyes!_

I felt so bad about going on hiatus that I typed this up. It was originally a oneshot, but it was a bit too long, and I though, "hey. My glorious readers deserve more than a whimpy little oneshot." By the way, check my profile for updates on the other stories I've got.

Well, anyways, enjoy!

***

Everywhere else, as the fall leaves crackled down to the ground, merry children laughed and tossed them about. At Malfoy Manner, however, any leaf that fell onto the ugly lawn was immediately zapped to a pile of ashes by a magical laser, eliminating the need to rake. It should be noted that bunnies, puppies, and merry children are counted as "leaves" as far as the magical laser was concerned.

Thus, the lawn in front of Malfoy Manner remained empty of happy shrieks and giggles. This didn't mean the happy shrieks and giggles from the neighbors didn't carry into the open window of Voldemort's Lair O' Doom™.

"Yagh!" the Dark Lord yelled, a pillow clamped firmly to each ear. "The happy shrieks burn!"

Snape, standing dismissively by the door said, "I'm sorry, my lord."

"Why are they shrieking so loudly _now_? The magical laser normally keeps them quiet the rest of the year."

Dully, Snape sighed. "I suppose it's because this is their favorite time."

"Of what?"

"The year."

"But the laser is still working..."

"They can put that aside for now, sir. You see," Snape went over to the window and motioned to the children in the street. "It's Halloween, sir."

"Holla' what?"

"_Halloween_, sir." Snape corrected, clasping his hands together quite tightly.

Voldemort thought for a moment. "Never heard of it," he said finally.

"If it would help jog your memory, _sir_, I believe that is the same day that you murdered Harry Potter's parents."

"Really? You mean that date actually had significance? I just did it that night because a lot of other people had big, dark cloaks on and I thought it would be fun to do that too." The Dark Lord gave a bit of a chuckle, grinning brightly. "Who knew?"

"Just about the rest of the world, sir." Snape managed through a jaw clenched with exasperation.

"Well, we all learn something new every day, hm, Minion?"

"Yes... sir."

"Come to think of it, why _were_ all those people in big, dark cloaks?"

"... Halloween, sir."

Voldemort's eyebrows shot up. "Really? Wow! All _sorts_ of things happened that day, didn't they?"

Snape gave up. "Yes, sir," he said, and started speed walking to the door. "I'm just going to make some more pumpkin bread crumpets, if you don't mind..."

His robe whipped greasily out of sight.

Voldemort waited until he was sure Snape was out of earshot, then cackled.

"My plan is in action!"

With steepled fingers the Dark Lord paced the room, slightly hunched. "My Death Eaters would never forgive me if I joined in the festivities of 'Halloween'... so I devised a devious scheme to _pretend _as though I am clueless to the holiday... but am I?"

He swept a hand up, pointing triumphantly to the ceiling, "No! Tonight, I shall sneak very, _verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry_ sneakily out, frolic about the streets, and harvest all the free candy my pillowcase can hold! MWAHAHAHA!

Voldemort glanced around to make sure he hadn't been heard. Seeing that he hadn't, or perhaps the Death Eaters were just used to his erratic bouts of cackling, he continued, but at a much softer, more devious volume.

"And, the genius of my plan, is to wear.... a costume!" He pulled from his closet a black robe and a plastic gray mask, with red eye-holds and two slits for the nose-hole.

"That's right!" he cackled to the surrounding audience of spiders and bacteria, "Lord Voldemort is going trick-or-treating as... _himself_!"

There was a crash of thunder and a flash of lighting. Or perhaps a bunny had just met the magical laser.

***

AN: Well... cross your fingers! I hope to the next installment up soon! _Hang in there_!


	2. Later That Night

AN: Yeah, it was a short story. Oh well. At least I wrote _something_, right?

Right.

Anyways, enjoy!

***

Peaking around the corner, Voldemort looked side to side.

Clear.

Exhaling, he tiptoed across the main foyer to the door, pillowcase slung over his shoulder, cheesy mask stretched across his face.

Twisting the handle open slowly, he squeezed past the door and onto the porch.

It was there that he released a cackle.

"I snuck away! Free candy, here I co-"

"Sir!"

The Dark Lord froze. And coughed.

"Er... yes, Minion?"

Snape, sticking his head through the open kitchen window, looked reproachfully his master.

"Were you going to go trick-or-treating without an adult?"

"... yes..." Voldemort muttered, unfreezing and scuffing his foot on the floor, head bowed.

"That's a very _dangerous_ thing to do!" Snape reprimand. "I'm ashamed in you!"

"But I don't _want _an adult with me! It takes all the _fun _out!" The Dark Lord whined.

"You could get hurt or lost," Snape said sternly. "Or kidnapped," he added, pointedly not thinking about who would kidnap Lord Voldemort.

"Can't I just bring a flashlight?" the Dark Lord asked, looking for a way to avoid being chaperoned by the Soy-Reincarnation Faster.

Snape sighed. "We'll see..."

Ten minutes later, Voldemort left Malfoy Manner alone with a wind-up flashlight.

... and a little plastic pumpkin light that flashed attached to his back so that cars could see him.

***

_Ding-dong!_

Postman sighed and got up from his comfy armchair. Setting his coffee mug down, he began searching for his candy bucket.

_Ding-dong! Ding-dong!_

The candy bucket was nowhere to be seen. Feeling the familiar sense of desperation coming on, Postman ran to the kitchen.

_Ding-dong! Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-dong!_

Whirling, Postman looked at the front door. With an eagle eye, he saw, through the peephole, a shiny bald head.

It was his student from the DMV.

_Ding-dong-g-g-g-g-g-g-g! Ding-dongding-ding-ding-ding-ding-dong-g-g-g-g-g-g!_

Postman frantically threw open his pantry and grabbed as many items as he could without looking. He screamed down the hallway, Ramen packets flying in his wake.

"Yes? Yes? Hello?" he said, yanking the door open.

"TRICK-OR-TREAT!" Voldemort chorused so loudly that Postman's hair was flattened against his scalp.

"Okay, er, would you like-"

"GIVE ME SOMETHING GOOD TO EAT!" Continued the Dark Lord.

"- oh, haha, there's more to that cute little jingle. Um-"

"IF YOU DON'T, I DON'T CARE!**"**

"Wow, it just keeps going, doesn't it-"

"I'LL PULL DOWN YOUR UNDERWARE!"

Voldemort burst into a fit of giggles.

Shaking, Postman proffered his armloads of food.

"Is there something good to eat here?" he quavered, quite sure his ear drums would never recover from the combined sound waves of the doorbell and the Dark Lord's singing voice.

Voldemort sniffed the food. "What's this?" he asked holding up a box full of a lot of little gel packets.

Postman's eyes grew wide. "Um," he said, carefully reaching for the package, "that's my dishwasher soap..."

"And this?"

"That's catnip..."

"What about this?"

Postman breathed a sigh of relief. "That's a granola bar. Yes! You may take that!"

The Dark Lord excitedly dropped the selected treat into his pillowcase. He was about to leave when he remembered something.

"Thank you, Mister!" he chorused obediently, just as Snape had told him.

"Er. No problem, litt – youn – chil – um. No problem. Have a good night."

"Bye!" Voldemort sang, and skipped down he front sidewalk to the next house.

Postman managed a grin and closed the door.

He had just settled down into this comfy armchair when the doorbell rang.

***

Voldemort was frolicking down the street. His pillowcase was full to the brim, and he littered Starbursts as he walked.

He was in such a good mood that he didn't notice none of the houses were unfamiliar until the full moon had risen.

His incessant singing slowly petered out as he glanced around. The street was empty, the houses dark. A leaf scuttled across the street ahead of him. Very faintly, a breeze rustled the dead, looming trees.

"H – hello?"

The wind whistling was the only answer.

"Any – anyone else here?"

Not a sound.

The Dark Lord began to walk again, glancing around with eyes like ripe pomegranates.

There was a scuffle.

Voldemort jumped.

"Hello?" he called out again, with a teensy bit more bravery.

He listened hard. Were those... were those... footsteps?

Pulling out his wand, and trying to keep a grip on it so it didn't go flying from his hand, should his shaking intensify any more, he said, "Show yourself!"

Again, he cocked his head to a side, straining his ear.

What was that... _breathing?_

He whipped around, pointing his wand at arms length. "I'm armed!"

There was something moving.. Beyond the shadows. The Dark Lord leaned closer, trying to figure out what it was... it looked like... like...

"_Boo!_"

"_Eeeeeeeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-_"

Harry Potter and his lacky Ron both fell out of the bushes, clutching their sides and laughing.

"_aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"_

Slowly, the boys recovered from their hysterics. They glanced up at Voldemort.

"-_aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa_

_aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"_

Exchanging glances, they continued to watch the Dark Lord scream.

"_aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"_

"Does he ever shut up?" Harry asked carefully.

"Guess not," Ron said, shrugging.

Suddenly there was a black shape, bearing down upon the two.

"_YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_" they screamed.

"Shame on _both _of you!" Snape scolded, appearing seemingly from nowhere.

"...what?" said Harry.

"Scaring the daylights out a poor little trick-or-treater! I am _appalled_!"

"Sir," Ron said slowly, "it was just a Halloween prank."

"So?" Snape demanded over Voldemort's continuous scream, "What has he ever done to you?"

"Um... murdered my parents, plotted the death of my favorite headmaster, indirectly killed my godfather, and caused all-around misery and pain for my friends and family?" Harry answered.

It was quiet (aside from the Dark Lord.)

"Well, you're lucky I found him before he got hurt," the Soy-Reincarnation Faster said stiffly, guiding Voldemort away. "Good night."

The two vanished down the street. Eventually the Dark Lord's scream faded too.

"That was strange..." Harry muttered.

"Quite."

"Let's just go home."

So Harry and Ron returned to Hogwarts, and Snape and Voldemort to Malfoy Manner.

And all was good in the world.

... Aside from Postman, who developed a fear of doorbells.

***

AN: Please, please, _please_ someone tell me they got that part about the pomegranates. I was aiming for describing the size of Voldemort's eyes _as well as _the color. Ahhahaha... you all caught that... didn't you?


End file.
